Nothing is ever set in stone. I’ve sometimes been scared of the unknown. Will I be ready for what is coming? Should I just hide and avoid it all? Can I face everything?
Spoiler alert, I can handle it, I am very capable. So are you!
I’ve thought holding myself accountable was setting myself up to fail. This isn’t true. Sometimes my routines are the only structure I have. I set my own goals, my own time tables. I run this house (with help, but mostly it’s my gig) and this is exactly what I want. I want the freedom of making my life into exactly what I want.
But setting your own goals and not being held to anyone else’s standards is also intimidating. Where do you go? What direction do you want to go in? What do you value?
It’s a complicated concept that I am unraveling little by little every day. I am a visual person, I like data, I like charts and patterns. It’s helpful to me to look back on my journals and plans of the past to get a sense of what I plan versus what actually happens. More often than not, I get everything done. My goals are always accomplished, but still I can feel things are out of reach…
I catch this thought, and resolve it by planning. Writing out what needs doing, and how it can be done. Seeing it all laid down is one step closer to action. Proving it’s possible, and holding myself to the goals I set.
But what does it take to set a goal? What if it’s the wrong goal?
There is no right or wrong, I think. I can’t remember where I heard it, but I think of this quote when I start to worry if I’m going down the wrong path.
“everyone needs a beautiful island to row to”
It doesn’t matter if you reach the island, or if you see a better island on your journey and choose it instead. The point is that you keep rowing. If only for a moment, you have a direction and you choose it.
My most important routine is in the morning, and is my most strict. Getting my goals accomplished as soon as possible in the day is essential to my growth. I do these things every single morning no matter what. Not because I’m anal retentive, but because if I don’t, the order and comfort level of my home goes right out the window. I spend 85% of my time within these walls, and it hurts my soul and frankly makes no sense to have everything out of whack. There’s usually more to my routine in the morning, but if I get absolutely NOTHING else done in a day, these four things are non-negotiable.
-Make the bed
I full-on fluff the pillows to make it comfy and inviting as that’s where we relax and communicate the most after tiny human is in bed for the night.
-Dishwasher run or emptied
depending on if I filled it the night before, I put dishes in or take them out.
-Coffee maker cleaned
No moldy coffee grounds!
-Load of laundry in
It doesn’t matter what it is, but if hubby needs work clothes cleaned then that’s top priority, a close second is towels. I do a load every day and put it away as soon as possible. I started Konmari folding my laundry and it is definitely more work, but also causes greater satisfaction once finished, which is good for me.
I choose to nourish my home and my family. To honor the land on which my home sits, and make it a comforting and safe place for the people I love most. It’s basically a never-ending journey and a complicated task. There is a lot that goes into keeping my house a well oiled machine and I take pride in the value of my home space.
Waking up every day and choosing to hold myself to certain standards isn’t always a natural action. Sometimes I get up and go through the motions of my routines, not seeing the value of it in the moment. But I have those routines for just such moments. The routines aren’t just so that the laundry stays in check and there’s never any dishes in the sink. They exist so my family can thrive. Thriving and rowing to whatever island they choose. To nourish the mind of my child. The comfort of my husband, so he can focus on being the incredible father and man that he is.
Most importantly, it fulfills me. I feel whole when I feel valued and when I do valuable work. When I can sit back and ACTUALLY relax. Being present with my loved ones and KNOW that my rowing and planning and doing is in line with my values.
I am working on a full post about my cleaning and self care routines, so keep your eyes peeled! If there’s anything else you’d like to know more about, I can expand on that, so let me know in the comments and have yourself a great morning!