Where I’ve been, mom guilt and juggling.

As you may have noticed, it’s been a couple months since I last posted a blog entry and I just wanted to say where I’ve been and what I’ve been up to!

I recently started doing hair again. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to start that back up again or maybe wait out a position opening at the non-profit organization I volunteer for.  This was a source of great uncertainty for me. I know I’m skilled enough to make it doing hair, I’ve done it before and excelled. The non-profit, though, is a cause that really speaks to my soul, so choosing one or the other really made me look at what I thought about my capabilities and the logistics of each situation. Ultimately I decided to throw myself back into the working world and do some hair, while still volunteering once a week.

I have some guilt about it, if I’m being honest. I lived a certain lifestyle for the past three years (homemaking, momming, etc) that I got very accustomed to. Maybe it was the familiarity and monotony that urged me to look outside the home for stimulation. What would I be missing by being at work? Who am I, really, outside of my child? Both equally scary questions.

I felt as though I had mastered the sahm-thing and that I needed a new challenge to keep my wheels turning. The challenges of working motherhood have been greater than imagined, but that’s the fun of it, right? Not knowing what you’re doing, flying blind, recognizing patterns, and coming to a new understanding of what it means to live, and to love.

I’ve been just chugging along, I have a fairly regular schedule. I’ve been balancing my time away from the home with utilizing my time while I am in the home to keep things going. My husband watches our daughter while I’m at work, and this is a change for him as well. He is really a saint, that man. I really am grateful for how he has stepped up during this shift in division of household duties. I try not to make his honey-do list too long, and he has his own home improvement projects he is enjoying working on.

Our schedules are the same every 2-week period, so I am able to keep a cleaning/grocery schedule. It gets dicey sometimes and we have to make substitutions often, but I think once we get into the swing of things, we can recognize the patterns that will be helpful in deciding how things will get done.

You can’t quantify everything, life happens and schedules get thrown out the window. Flexibility is a must, I’m realizing, for a household to function. Love, really is the most important thing.

If you have any thoughts or suggestions for managing a healthy work-life balance, I would love to hear it or hear any stories you have to tell.

Thanks for reading! x

Advertisements

19 Self Care Tips for Busy Moms

There’s nothing more true than the statement “You cannot pour from an empty cup”
You can’t care for everyone else and what they need if you are neglecting yourself and your own satisfaction. It can feel selfish and hard to carve out time for yourself, but it is so essential if you truly want to be present with your family and goals.

lrm_export_239180064952766_20190108_080420650

I talked about my self-care habits in this post about how, during my kid’s naptime, I do something for myself. Here are a few examples of ways I fill my own cup.

  1. Drink water- It’s so important and almost self explanatory that I know I have to put it first on the list. You NEED water, literally. Half my bodyweight in ounces is my goal but I usually end up drinking a little bit more than that. I bought myself a cute little tumbler cup to help and because I know it’s a 16 oz. cup, it’s easy to add it all up.
  2. Yoga- I’ve never been to a yoga class, but I watch videos on youtube. Yoga with Adriene is great for just about any type of yoga you’re into. Sometimes I lay in child’s pose until my legs fall asleep, but just being mindful and present in my own body is great for me to reconnect with myself.
  3. Painting nails- I can never get away with painting my nails when my daughter is awake, I always end up scuffing the polish or interrupting myself for this or that. I never took care of my nails when I worked, and now I have the time to properly care for my cuticles, and I’m better off for it.
  4. Bath- At the end of a long day, or the night before a busy week starts, I like to throw some epsom salt into a bath and light my candles and bathe in the dark with some headphones in. I ignore the rattling handle and pleas for MOMMA and let my husband handle it. Feels good!
  5. Face mask- Usually during the bath, I slap a mask on my face just to rejuvinate my skin. I like to mix up special sugar scrubs for my lips or legs too.
  6. Writing- Feelings, fiction, mantras, whatever, just putting the “a;skdfhj;asdkf” out of my head and onto the page is very cathartic to me.
  7. Painting- When my daughter was little, I would lock myself in my bedroom while my husband watched the baby and I would listen to Lana Del Rey and watercolor paint flowers or vaginas or whatever. It was a neat outlet for me. I wasn’t particularly good, but it felt good.
  8. Coloring- I taught my daughter to hold a crayon very early, and we love to color together. I use colored pencils and mandala coloring books, and just let the scribbling flow.
  9. Crocheting- This helps for a nervous energy day, when I need something to keep my hands busy. I LOVE making little animal characters out of yarn. Scarves and pot holders are nice but I can make some pretty cute doggies and the like. (Amigurumi)
  10. Tea- When I drink green tea, I feel like I’m doing something good for my body. My favorite though, is a vanilla chai tea with some dandelion root tea. It’s a good way to flush your system out and always makes me feel better when I haven’t been particularly kind to my digestive system.
  11. Candles- I light candles when I pray or need particular guidance about something or wish to connect with the universe. Sounds cheesy but whatev.
  12. Incense- Not much is better than opening up the windows and light some good incense. I don’t like to have the smoke around my kid, but naptime near an open window lets the good air in and the incense smell tends to linger.
  13. Dye your hair- I was a hairdresser a million years ago, so I know more than most how life-changing a new hair do can be for someone. Either changing up the color or just refreshing those roots always gives me a new round of confidence.
  14. Makeup- Some days I feel like I wasted my makeup by not going anywhere or taking any selfies, but sometimes it just feels good to catch yourself in the mirror and go “oh, damn” because you forgot you had eyeliner on.
  15. Pick some flowers- Many days of laziness and apathy have been cured by taking a walk around my property and picking the weeds and flowers that speak to me, and honor them with a little sugar water in a mason jar on my mantle. Flowers are a great way to revamp the mood of a room.
  16. Long poops- maybe TMI but my husband would spend the rest of his life in the bathroom if I would let him. I’m the opposite, always so worried about spending too much time in there because you never know what catastrophe could occur while you’re indisposed. But sometimes, I load up a good long article, shut the door, and just chill.
  17. Massage- I got a gift certificate for a massage last christmas and took until august to get around to using it, but man when I did… I felt like a new person for like an entire week afterwards. So worth it, I wish I could make it a regular habit.
  18. Tarot- I pull cards for new and full moons consistently, but sometimes I just pull a card for the day and use it as a point of focus for the day. Like devotionals, but a little more interpretative. This may not be for everyone.
  19. Meditation- Noon is about the time when some good sunshine comes through my front window, so sometimes I lay on the floor with my face in the sun and just meditate. I’ve done guided meditations on youtube but mostly I just lay there in silence.

Are you noticing a trend with these? The point is to just get some time for yourself and make your own happiness a priority. Maybe you have to schedule in your planner some time for self care but JUST DO IT. You can’t keep up with every else if you don’t even know where you are. Being a martyr is noble, but when you aren’t connected to the why of what you do and love the efforts you make, you’re going to find yourself feeling dissatisfied.

What are your favorite ways to take care of yourself? Do you find it hard to relax?

I want everyone to live their best life and feel as empowered as possible. 2019 is the year of getting it together and together starts with YOU!